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Drunk Driver
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. ''I can't do that, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.'' ''Okay, we'll just get a...- Nessi
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- Replies: 1
- Forum: Unplugged | Ole Talk & General News
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Stinkin' Proof
One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog. When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier said she needed proof that the old lady had a dog because some old people have been known to just eat the animal food themselves. So she went home got her puppy, bought it to the...- Nessi
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- Replies: 4
- Forum: Unplugged | Ole Talk & General News
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Email Error
It's wise to remember how easily e-mail can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next...- Nessi
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- Replies: 2
- Forum: Unplugged | Ole Talk & General News
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New Rules
Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future...- Nessi
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- Replies: 3
- Forum: Unplugged | Ole Talk & General News
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Fun With Cops!
(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to "spice up" your takeout. *Take his flashlight and play flashlight tag with yourself. *When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say "I thought you had to be physically fit to be a cop." *Draw happy...- Nessi
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- Replies: 2
- Forum: Unplugged | Ole Talk & General News
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How to be Annoying Guide!
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ''like it that way.'' * Drum on every available surface. * Sing the Batman theme incessantly. * Staple papers in the middle of the page. * Ask 800 operators for dates. * Produce a rental video consisting...- Nessi
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- Replies: 11
- Forum: Unplugged | Ole Talk & General News
